Alicia Silverstone’s new book, The Kind Mama, is getting all sorts of press. While it’s doing a great job at making me want to read it, a description of her parenting practices as “controversial” got me thinking. I haven’t read the book, but I can hardly consider elimination communication, veganism and cosleeping controversial.
Not vaccinating, okay, yes. I don’t agree with not vaccinating. But I’m sick of that topic at the moment so I’m just going to let sleeping dogs lie there as I don’t know exactly what she says about vaccines or how it’s worded.
Sure, cosleeping can be controversial. But from what I’ve discovered researching the topic it’s not dangerous when people choose to cosleep, it’s when people fall asleep on couches or bring babies into adult beds that aren’t meant for babies. Having someone talk about the choice of a family bed could actually be beneficial to helping families get more sleep without resorting to something when they’re already sleep deprived.
Anyways, that word “controversial” really got me thinking about my own parenting practices, and what would be considered controversial. Breastfeeding at 16 months. Cosleeping. Baby sign language. Baby led weaning. Cloth diapering. Babywearing. I’m sure there is so, so, so much more that I can’t even scratch the surface. Oh, starting solids at 5 months. See, I found more.
It couldn’t have come at a better time too. At a play date the other day I nervously breastfed my son, wondering if someone would question that he was still breastfeeding, let alone often enough to need to do it right then and not at a more “opportune” time. (No one seemed to care, for the record.) Or today, K had fallen asleep while running errands, so I put him in the carrier in hopes that he would keep sleeping while I did our final stop. I’m sure it looked pretty weird, considering he’s a quarter of my size and very capable of walking, hell, running through the grocery store. But at that moment, it was amazing to have the chance to offer him a bit more sleep.
I think that’s the thing that resonates the most with me about “controversial” parenting. The things that are often labelled controversial in our society are oftentimes the things that we do when we aren’t overthinking everything, the things that come naturally. I don’t need to read a book to know that it’s wonderful to pull my baby into bed with me and snuggle, but I do need to read one (or five!) in order to sleep train him. If motherhood has changed me in one way, it’s helped me find my instincts and beliefs, my own convictions. Things I wasn’t sure that I had. Even if they’re controversial, they feel natural to me.
I know, it’s still April. But my younger sister died in May two years ago from preeclampsia and HELLP syndrome. She had symptoms for weeks and nobody really took them seriously at first, including her. She never liked to bother anyone, and they’re so similar to the normal aches and pains of pregnancy that women overlook them or shrug them off as normal. My sister died twelve hours after she collapsed, and ever since then I meet women who say, “I had no idea it could be so serious.”
Well, it can. Each year, women like my sister die from preeclampsia, and many, many more lose babies to it. If you or a pregnant friend have these symptoms, it’s better to be safe than sorry. Don’t wait, just call.
Awareness does matter. It’d mean a lot to me if you’d reblog this, thanks.
|—||90% of all nappy changes ever (via mamalittlebit)|
I just used soap nuts for the first time and I am absolute fascinated by the fact that they are actually soap! Suds and all!
So flipping frustrated right now! If I hear of one more outbreak of a preventable disease that people are too freaking stupid to go and get immunized for I’m going to lose it! /8!:!$;’slehrbn
Ok I’ve already lost it.
It’s not the parents who suffer. It’s their children. And the children around them. It should be child abuse!
It does not cause autism.
If you say the word toxins I will punch you unless you’ve never stepped foot in a car, train, or plane; grow your own food; and weave your own freaking fabric to make your own clothes out of your own organic sheep’s wool!!!!
There are people who CANNOT get immunized. That have to rely on herd immunity. And relying on herd immunity yourself when you are able to get immunizations is selfish and makes you a BAD person. You’re putting others at risk. Case in point? MEASLES is back. Herd immunity is no longer there thanks to you.
I have zero opinions on how other people parent their children. If their child is cared for and loved, then they’re doing a great job IMO. But when the reckless decisions of others affect my child, I will voice my opinion. And if it puts my child in the path of catching a painful and possible deathly disease? Well, you just better be happy that the only thing I can do about it is rant on a blog.